His statement “Human altruism is not an evolutionary paradox. It is a sexual ornament”, was powerful in explaining this idea. The result is a back and forth between examples of the biological world and fallible humans trying to grasp it. But some ideas bear repeating before they are absorbed. Miller’s own limitations are on display, about a third of the way in, in a spectacular instance of dramatic irony, as he wonders why common social values seem to be at odds with the practices of a successful sexual competitor. Either Miller’s time in the library, or his own personal affinity for the values of sexual selection, have left him unable to recognize the social imperative of reducing the vary frictions produced by the sexual selection as he himself describes it. As Rodney Hilton explained, the boundaries of society are the fruits of conflict, not concord, and traditional societies are loathe to reopen old conflicts because they remember the cost.
I never would’ve thought in a million years I’d read and end up loving a Tucker Max book. I used to see his books on shelves and just think here’s another obnoxious PUA who made his fortune bragging about how much sex he has/had. I read this bc I was curious but rolled my eyes through all the nutrition shit, specifically where these guys say to avoid all grains ever. I’ve read a few books on dating before, but this one still managed to teach me a few things. I think in making this book, there was a decision to keep things aimed at a younger more juvenile audience that left me thinking, “I know all this stuff, and I’ve heard all this before”. I know that in order to sell books you have to reach beyond people like me but I think a more “advanced” version of this book in the future would be great; although I’m not sure how you’d do that without alienating the vast majority of your audience.
I don’t know much about evolutionary psychology and its place in the science world, but this book makes me want to know more. If you like philosophy and evolutionary psychology then this is a must read. I would recommend it for anyone with the intelligence and knowledge to understand it. It’s not popular literature so don’t think you can read it in one week.
Men and women after #metoo, ‘from women to men’
You can’t just come up with an idea, sample 50 undergrads, and publish something. There are really good discoveries to be made but it’s going to be hard for someone who comes along because a lot of those discoveries are things people don’t want to know. We were just talking about ideas like people manipulating each other, selfish gene ideas, these are not the ideas that people enjoy. But this idea that you get less “sticky” each time you have sex with a new person, that you get less attached, it’s a message promoted by Christians.
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This week on Helping Joe, Charlie and Nils continue to help Joe on his job hunt and go over five of his recent interviews, including what he did right and wrong and how to make big improvements in talking to potential future employers. They also talk about common interview questions and having good body language. Towards the end of this episode they talk about the end of his last medium term relationship.
Let us know what’s wrong with this preview of Virtue Signaling by Geoffrey Miller. We’ve both started new projects, and you can follow Alexander at beiner.substack.com and David at @fullydavid on Twitter. You are learning to think like Miller, and Miller thinks like a teacher. There were many ideas expressed in this book that were new to me.
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They say you’re like a piece of tape that becomes less sticky each time. But I don’t want to be sticky, thank you very much. Now Bret Weinstein talks about how once we understand how things like terrorism and genocide are evolved adaptive behaviors, we could overcome them and stop killing the outgroup or whatever. So I’m worried about how that applies to altruism.
Seems like the worst thing you could reasonably say about it is that it’s a bit heteronormative and male-centric. One of the reasons I find this material so fascinating is that the conclusions they draw make great additions to the teleological argument for the existence of God. That is, evolutionary psychologists can give incredible insight into the “design” of our bodies and minds. Our brains, physical features, and talents are perfectly suited to attract the opposite sex.
Learn to accurately read female comfort and discomfort cues. Women generally don’t reject men explicitly because of the very real risks they face from publicly humiliating their suitors. They’re just trying to reduce the risk of provoking harassment or stalking or violent retaliation.
I’m sad that so many are alone and don’t know why. I was lonely for much of my life and lacked tools to understand or change my romantic life. Talking about these issues with my friends and siblings taught me that our society fails to equip lonely people loveme.com with useful tools to become more attractive, particularly for men. Understanding and improving your capabilities — this is often better discussed without discussing dating. I mean, as an example, let’s take the simplistic belief “women prefer rich men”.
What I like most about this book is that it demonstrates how much more complex, chaotic and integrated nature and evolution are than the predominant survival of the fittest paradigm would lead us to believe. Miller goes on to demonstrate that Darwin himself identified and took great pains to detail the incredible importance of sexual selection. In addition, he points out that, because of the Victorian era male dominated scientific community to which Darwin proposed both sexual and natural selection, sexual selection did not until recently receive the attention it deserves. The rest of the book is devoted to rethinking many of the most wonderful aspects of being human, not in the context of Machiavellian-minded natural selection, but in the much more subtle and diverse context of sexual selection and mate choice. Now, all of this is theory and the book is heavy on the speculative side of things but the logic is good.